Family – a small social system in which the child gets his first experience . With the advent of the second , third child , the behavior of all members of the family acquires special paint. But not all siblings, that is, brothers and sisters , can easily get along with each other. Often children born between a complex of feelings , contradictory in nature. Sense of intimacy , on the one hand , and the desire to get a bigger share of the parents , on the other , form a sibling competition. And then , what factor will outweigh depends on the relationship of parents to children . What you should pay attention to sibling competition does not become destructive and went to the children of the benefit ?
Notice the unique characteristics of each child . The main cause of tension and conflict among siblings – constant comparison with each other . Therefore, children unconsciously choose such behaviors that will maximize distinguish them from a brother or sister . Thus, each takes a unique niche in the family, in which it will not be compared with anyone . So , if one child gets the attention due to advances in the study, the other is likely to choose their ” fad ” creativity or social ties .
Teach your children to respect each other’s psychological boundaries . Often , the cause of sibling conflict is a violation of ” psychological boundaries ” against the backdrop of a small amount of personal belongings, his ” corner” in the house, time alone. But any such “invasion” is the desire to defend himself, to show aggression . To reduce tensions between siblings , teaching them to ask permission to take thing a brother or sister , tell us on the right to private space and time . Let your child know what is in his possession and that he is responsible . Joint use of things children can regulirovatsyaosobymi rules approved by you or a family council .
Strengthen and support sibling coalition. Take their cooperative tradition and treated carefully to their secrets , if they – the neighboring state . Such an attitude towards children will affect the strength of their mutual support and team spirit . On the other hand, do not force siblings to communicate. Studies have shown that the highest cohesion formed between siblings separated in age by up to three years . In siblings with age difference of more than 5 years less overlap areas of interest .
Not form a coalition with one of the children. Seems tempting to combine their efforts for the ” right thing ” with one of them in the upbringing of a brother or sister . Conclusion of such ” deals” fertile soil for increased competition between siblings , self-doubt one of them. The more ” selective ” behaves the parent of the child to someone , the higher their aggression towards each other.
The presence of small conflicts between siblings will favorably affect their communication skills , the ability to defend their opinion , resistance in conflict situations. Do not try to immediately intervene in the dispute and unleash it. Encourage expression of productive strategies to resolve conflicts between children : discussion , compromise and consensus . When the boys learn that in the family, nothing prevents them from using this skill at school or in adult life.
If in the course are fists , enter rules binding for all family members . They should be clear , unambiguous and spelled . For example, “do not use physical force ,” ” do not interrupt “, ” not to offend .” Each family makes a list about their family ties . All members of the household should know about the degree of responsibility , if these rules are violated .
Allow children to ” blow off steam ” socially acceptable way. After all, in the relationship between brothers and sisters often run high emotions that need somewhere to “merge” . As such , you can use measures psihogimnastiki , creative expression , Batak . There are also board games for the whole family in which children on the basis of general rules can compete , show their abilities, win a sibling or accept his defeat. Make sure that the game was equally within the ability of each child.
In the Czech Republic born quintuplets
Alexander Kin , 23 -year-old citizen of the Czech Republic, gave birth to five children. After cesarean mother and newborn , according to doctors , feel good .
Distribution of parental attention between children and maintain the parity requires no small effort. But the results are worth it : sibling friendship for many years , adequate self-esteem of each of them and a lot of useful social skills that will help them become successful in society and their own family.